Rate This Page:5 Myths to Bust BEFORE You Get Married
Marriage can be a beautiful thing that enriches the rest of your life. However, even the most happily wed couples experience hardships that only married people understand. If you're planning on tying the knot, then learning the truth about these common misconceptions of marriage can help prepare you to be a better spouse. Remember that a healthy marriage isn't between two people who need each other, but between two people who choose to be together. To understand these marriage myths is to realize spouses must stay true to themselves for a healthy, long-lasting relationship.5 Active Myths | Suggest a Myth
Do you still find yourself eyeing attractive people? Well, guess what: Putting a ring on your finger won't stop your body from producing hormones. You can't realistically expect someone to ignore the eye candy of everyday life. To go even further, many marriages eventually hit rough patches where one or both partners may be tempted to seek comfort in the arms of another. Infidelity happens at a surprisingly high rate. So while temptations are par for the course in marriage, the bigger factor is how you handle those conflicted feelings. In a healthy marriage, you don't need to feel guilty about enjoying eye candy as long as your hand stays out of the candy jar.
One of the biggest mistakes a newly wedded person can make is losing his or her individuality. Getting married should never mean giving up the things that make you happy. Your spouse should be happy with you the way you are. Otherwise, why bother getting hitched? This doesn't mean you should expect to continue living like a bachelor (you shouldn't ignore the needs of a roommate in any other living situation, either). But getting married doesn't mean you can't hang out with your friends, play video games or burn hours reading your favorite books. In fact, the longer your marriage lasts, the more you'll come to realize how important it is to have YOUR things that make YOU happy. You are sharing your life, not giving up your life.
Any relationship can help to cover up insecurities and emotional shortcomings - but only for awhile. If you don't go into a marriage feeling complete, then eventually your inner problems will resurface and cause problems. The key is understanding that a marriage between two complete people is much more likely to endure future hardships than a marriage of people who are co-dependent. You should never enter a marriage with the goal of fixing someone or filling in your gaps. Rather, marriage is about two people sharing and enriching each other's lives. You can't do that if you expect your spouse to make you feel emotionally whole.
You must have THE talk before getting married. End of story. The goal of having children and raising a family is meaningful and instinctive, and for many people may be the single most important goal they have. If your significant other disagrees with you about wanting children, then you may want to hold off on getting married until you've thoroughly discussed alternative options such as adoption or surrogacy. Never assume you know what your partner wants; be specific and talk about this before popping the question.
Do you worry that you argue too much with your significant other to survive a long-term marriage? Turns out, arguing can be healthy for a relationship. You want a spouse who is intelligent and fearless enough to give you advice or advise you against bad decisions. Sometimes, this leads to arguments. The real question to ask yourself is "How well do we argue?" If your arguments leave you feeling angry and resentful, then perhaps you should hold off on tying the knot. But if your arguments end quickly and negative feelings don't linger, then you've got nothing to worry about. In fact, you probably have a leg up on other engaged couples who don't argue. Eventually, all spouses argue. Good spouses argue well.
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